I know I say this every Thursday, but I am truly thankful to have a healthy baby kicking around in my belly.
What happened with Ina was scary, but extremely rare and had a very happy ending. The chances of the same thing happening to this baby are practically non-existent. So, i went into this pregnancy telling myself I wouldn’t freak out over every little thing.
And for a long time it worked, especially early on. When the ultrasound tech couldn’t find the baby at 6 to 7 weeks, I wasn’t scared and she eventually found her. When my midwife couldn’t get a heartbeat on the doppler right away, I breathed normally until I heard that beautiful thud, thud, thud.
However as we creep closer and closer to 37.5 weeks, my gestation when Ina was born, I have become way more paranoid. Last week I went to my midwife’s office THREE times. Once was for an actual scheduled appointment. The second time I was driving to work and hadn’t felt the baby move after breakfast. I parked my car in my work parking lot and poked and prodded my belly with no movement, so instead of going to work, I just backed out and drove to my midwife’s office. Turns out the baby was just napping. The third time I was sure I was leaking amniotic fluid, I suppose because my fluid was low(ish), but nope, wrong again (thankfully).
At the third visit my midwife told me that this type of behavior is very common for women who have had a scary experience in the past. She compared it to PTSD. What I am also very thankful for is that although she reassured me that my baby is perfectly fine, she had no problem with me coming in every day for the rest of my pregnancy if that is what it took to convince me. I am also so thankful for the weekly ultrasounds to see that everything is going OK.
Since that conversation, I have had a few more freak-outs, but nothing a phone on vibrate or an electric razor couldn’t fix. (I hold them up to my belly to wake baby girl up so I can feel her move.)
When I went to my scheduled appointment this week, the girl at the front desk smiled and said, “Hi Racheal.” Dan just looked at me and laughed. I guess when you see a patient 4 times within 7 days you get to know her name. Ha!
So many things to be thankful for!