Friday, June 19, 2015

Dear Ina Mae, Our World is About to be Rocked

Dear Ina,

My sweet baby girl, our world is about to be rocked.

Because of the learning experiences I gained with you, I think i have an idea of what the next few months are going to look like around our house. Although I likely have forgotten most of them due to lack of sleep and selective memory, I have a vague recollection of the newborn days. However, I am afraid you have absolutely no idea how your world is about to change.

This is not for lack of trying on my part. I continue to attempt to explain what things will be like when the baby that is inside my belly will be outside my belly. You seem so excited to be a “good big sister” and have even been practicing baby care on your dolls. But, when you tell me you want to give Baby Gary her present “when she turns five years old” I get the feeling you really have no idea. 

When I think about the changes you are going to have to face, in some ways, my heart breaks. 

The routines we have developed in the mornings, afternoons, evenings, and weekends are going to be thrown out the door and likely replaced by chaos. 

My arms, that have both been completely yours for the taking whenever you please, will be a little more full and not available on demand. Carrying you up and down the stairs and one-on-one cuddle sessions will happen less.

When you call for me in the morning when you wake up, it will take me longer to get to you.

My attention, which I admit is sometimes fleeting now, will be maxed out, even though I promise I am going to try to cut out time just for you.

I will no longer tell you that you are my favorite baby girl. Or that you are the most beautiful baby girl. Or that I love you more than anything. 

You see, there will be another beautiful baby girl around here. She will likely be getting more adult attention for awhile, which will probably be hard for you to understand at first, because she won’t do much of anything except sleep. 

But, that lump that doesn’t do much of anything will slowly transform into a vibrant child, just like you did. When she does, I can’t wait to watch you have a sister, a permanent playmate, a friend. A sibling is hands down the best present my parents have ever given me and I hope you eventually feel the same way. 

I promise, it will get better.

We will develop new routines. 

My arms will figure out a way to hold you both.

I don’t know how yet, but from what I hear from other parents, I will love your sister just as much as I love you (which is with all my heart), without loving you any less. (Seriously, how is this mathematically possible?)

But, before all of that happens, I want to tell you thank you. Thank you for teaching me everything you did without even trying. Thank you for being my first baby and showing me the ropes of this mom thing. I know it couldn’t have been easy. Thank you for being you. Thank you for making the past two and a half years (mostly) more enjoyable and filled with more love than I could have ever imagined. 

I love you sweetheart, and I hope and pray that you continue to see that even with this new baby in the mix. 

<3

1 comment:

  1. My baby girl turned 5 months old yesterday and my husband and I have talked about if we would have another. This letter speaks words that were also in my heart if we were to have a second child. How could I ever love another being as much as I love Piper? It's mind boggling. Sad feelings for the change, yet, happy feelings for the change. It's heavy stuff, and it's so sweet you wrote it all out for your baby girl.

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