Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Little Eyes Watching - Always

On Saturday night we were going through our normal bedtime routine, which currently is something like this:

- Dan and Ina lay down in bed while I am finishing up a few things

- We read Ina a few books or sing with her

- Dan and Ina fall asleep then I take Ina to her crib

This routine works because Dan and I have a bedtime that is also acceptable for a one and a half year old.  

Anyways, I was getting into bed when Dan jokingly took my pillow.  We had been teasing each other all day, so I jumped up and jokingly “punched” him in the stomach.  I asked him if it hurt and he said no, so I did it again.  

Dan and I both started laughing, but then I heard Ina start screaming, “No Momma, Daddy! No Momma, Daddy!” 

Along with the screaming came a red face, sobs, and lots and lots of tears.  The girl could barely breathe, and she kept on saying, “No Momma, Daddy” no matter what we did or said.  

Dan told her he was ok, that we were just joking.

I told Dan I was sorry and I wouldn’t do it again.  

We were hugging her and rocking her.

She finally stopped crying but kept on whispering, “No Momma.  Daddy.”  After about 3 minutes we had her laughing again and there were lots of kisses and family hugs.  

I felt and still feel absolutely horrible.  Somehow, I turned a joking around moment into a traumatizing moment.  

Even though I feel like I constantly am thinking about Ina, I never once thought how she would react when she saw her mom punching her dad.  She wouldn’t understand that we were joking, of course she would be upset.  Looking back, I don’t even know why I did that, punching isn’t my go-to move.  I usually just pout until I get my pillow back.  I must have felt feisty.  

I learned a lesson that I thought I already understood - her little eyes are always watching me.  Constantly.  What else does she see me do that I don’t even think about?  

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The bright side was that Ina was being very protective of her daddy, which was super sweet and made Dan feel so loved. He said he would take a weekly beating for that.  Ha!

OK, i know I am not alone here - when did you have that moment when you realized that your child is always watching you?

1 comment:

  1. I totally know what you mean! I once asked my husband to leave the bathroom so the boys would be calm enough to get washed up and my oldest started crying and begging me not to make Daddy leave. I think he thought I was banishing Daddy for good! Whoops! We had to do big family hugs and sorry a all around. Broke my heart but was a good wake up to being more careful about how we say things.

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