The lack of post yesterday was due to me working from my grandma's house.
Apparently being at grandma's house = no blogging Racheal, because I rarely blog from there and instead opt to drink coffee and chat with my family as the sun comes up.
I also didn't take any pictures, but my cousin took this one while I was working inside and the kids were playing outside.
This picture, and the many others that were taken of Ina and her cousins playing while I was in a bedroom staring at a laptop, made me even more aware of what I am missing for 40 hours a week.
While I was on maternity leave, I thought it would be impossible for me to go back to work. And while going back to work has been possible, it is still painful.
Routine-wise it gets easier every day. I actually make it out the door on time most days of the week.
Emotion-wise it hasn't become easier and feels like I am leaving her for the first time every morning.
I am beyond blessed to have a job that allows me to work from home two days a week. However, during those two days, I catch a glimpse of what I am missing.
On the days I am home and upstairs in my office I hear a giggle from Ina and wish I could see the toothy grin that goes along with it. I hear Abby exclaim, "wow, Ina, you are such a big girl!" and I feel like I have to hold myself down to my chair.
At my grandma's house I come downstairs to everyone playing "follow the leader" or as my nephew Kauffman says, "follow the WEEder." I see pictures of the kids playing in the pool or painting the playhouse or playing with bubbles and I so want those pictures to be MY memories.
Life is short.
Their baby-time is even shorter.
All of that is to say that being a working mom is a constant emotional struggle and I have it so much easier than most. I love my job and have no plans to change my work situation. I just wanted to put that out there, because it has been on my mind a lot lately.