I had a post planned today about my morning routine. However, after one day back at work I can already tell that a "planned routine" is out of the question, at least for the first few months. So instead, I thought I would tell you about my first day at work.
Spoiler alert - I survived.
I was a mess Sunday night and Monday morning leaving the house. I think I said bye and kissed Ina about 20 times and all the make-up I put on was washed away before I got to work. Dan gave me a pep talk on the drive in, but I was still feeling pretty down as I sat at my desk.
It was weird, there were still documents and notes on my desk from 12 weeks earlier. My water cup had a few drops in it. The computer mouse felt funny in my hand.
I spent most of the day going through my ginormous email inbox and finally got to the email I sent my boss the day that Ina was born. I remember sitting in the hospital, with monitors hooked up to my belly, typing up that email. It said,
"I will be a little late to work tomorrow. The baby wasn't moving as much, so I am admitted for the night so they can monitor her. I will let you know more in the morning."
(Little did I know what was in store for me just a few hours later.)
So many of the emotions of that day came back to me and that is when I realized that me being upset about leaving Ina is so small compared to what other people have to be upset about, what I have had to be upset about in the past.
The daughter I am leaving is healthy. The house I am leaving is warm, clean, and stocked with groceries. The job I am going to is one that I love and that provides for my family.
I am blessed with those things, and for that I am thankful.
The rest of the day was much better after I read that email.
I returned home with a pounding headache to a fussy baby. After playing with the mirror, trying to take a nap, and having a little snack, neither one of us were feeling much better. However, after some Gripe Water and wine, we were good to go.
(This was the first time I have given Ina any type of medication. I think her stomach was hurting because she had milk that I had pumped when she was first born. Any other mom's with that experience?)
Today I am snowed in, so I get to stay at home with my love. I hope everyone else in this blizzard is staying safe!