I am horrible at keeping secrets. If you have a secret, please don’t tell me. It won’t hurt my feelings. I just can’t stand the idea of someone not knowing something that I know. Also, I relish in the feeling of letting someone in on a new piece of information. I love the look on my friends’ faces when tell them a juicy piece of gossip. I know that is horrible, but I just can’t help it.
So, you can imagine my agony when the juicy piece of gossip is about me and I cannot tell everyone. So far – here are the people who know I am pregnant:
- My sister. She is a nurse practitioner who works with the midwife I plan to see, so keeping it a secret from her would have been very difficult. I planned on holding out a little longer, but when I told Dan to sign her birthday card on Saturday (I was 4.5 weeks pregnant at the time), he wrote, “Happy Birthday to soon to be Aunt Jessie. Shhhh….” When she opened the card she gave Dan a mean look and said, “Shut up Dan, I don’t believe you.” When I told her “Well, it’s actually true,” she screamed “ Now way?!? Thank you Jesus!” She has been wanting a cousin for Kauffman for quite some time and hasn’t been afraid to say it. Seeing the tears in her eyes and being able to talk to her about all the questions and concerns I already have made my decision to tell her worth it.
- My friend Isabel from South Africa. Dan and I were planning on visiting her in South Africa next Spring. Obviously, now that won’t be possible. She was starting the process of planning the trip and I didn’t want her to have to go through all that work for nothing. Also, she lives in South Africa, so there is very little chance she will tell anyone else who knows me. I was afraid that telling Isabel would upset her, because I know she was looking forward to our South African visit. However, she was beyond excited and sweetly told me that Dan and I were going to make great parents. She even mentioned that she might make a visit make to the US to meet the baby!
- My friends Noelia and Meredith from North Carolina. I am currently visiting them for two weeks. We spent our entire fellowship drinking wine, beer, and margaritas after work and every weekend. I knew it would be impossible to keep this secret from them while staying with them for two weeks. I thought the secret would come out after I had gone out to eat with them a few times and politely declined anything to drink. However, I wasn’t even at Meredith’s house for 2 minutes before she looked at me and said, “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” I have no idea how she knew, but I that just goes to show how horrible of a secret keeper I am. When I bashfully replied “maybe…” the both started squealing and jumping up and down. We met up with Dr. Tran that night for dinner and Meredith stealthfully told the waitress that I was going to order a vodka soda, but she needed to bring me a Sprite. We thought that strategy would work the entire time I was here until last night, when I got to the restaurant, Dr. Tran sweetly had a margarita waiting for me. Sigh. I told him that it wasn’t on my diet, and I think he bought it, but he will start to get suspicious soon. Meredith put “Mom to be” balloons in my room. Isn’t that sweet?
I am heading to Asheville tonight, so I am sure that Sarah will be added to that list shortly.
In the single week that I have been pregnant two people have asked me when Dan and I are going to have children. It took every ounce of self control I could muster to keep a straight face and say, “I think we are getting closer to being ready,” without screaming, “I’m pregnant right now!” with a ridiculous smile on my face and turning on some type of victory background music.
The beginning of June cannot come fast enough.
Other updates – after discussing how tired I am with Jessie she said it would be fine if I had a cup of coffee every once in a while. I have had exactly 3 cups of coffee since then and drinking every one of them has been completely euphoric.
Texts between me and Dan about the baby:
Me: The poor dogs have been in the kennel all day
Dan: I had Joey let them out
Me: Oh – that was nice of him. And nice of you to think of it.
Dan: Good dad skills
Me: You do have good dad skills
Me: Getting read to give the lecture. I am fine but Margaret is really nervous.
Dan: Tell her everything is going to be fine.